Common Grief Emotions: Anger

Many grievers know that anger is a typical response to the death of a loved one. Like other tricky grief emotions, anger is complex and painful. While we would rather avoid heavy feelings altogether, giving space to our emotions is necessary for healing. 

Keep reading to better understand grief-related anger and useful ways to express this emotion. If you are grieving and experiencing strong emotions, know you don't have to navigate this process alone; connect with me for personalized grief coaching.

Anger in Grief is Normal

During grief, you might be angry at those trying to help you, those "not doing enough," those who have what you lost, the person who died, yourself, god, or the world! No matter how it looks for you, rest assured that anger is a common grief emotion!

Even though anger in response to loss is normal, we tend to label this emotion as "bad." Most of us try to suppress our "bad" feelings, but it's okay to feel angry! There's no shame in feeling angry when someone you love dies. The tricky part is finding helpful expressions for your anger. Know that if you've expressed anger in a way you're not proud of, you're not alone. None of us get it right all of the time. 

Unhelpful Anger Responses

Suppression

Leads to sickness as built-up stress impacts our physical and emotional wellbeing

Judgment

Being critical of our emotions causes shame and isolation from our support system

Venting 

Seems helpful in the short-term but adds fuel to the fire rather than emotional healing

Helpful Anger Responses

Exercise

Releases trapped energy in the body

Create

Learn to channel emotions into abstract expression

Laugh

Invite in a new emotion when feeling overwhelmed

Acknowledge

Allow feelings to come and go without judgment

Meditate

Connect to breathe in the present moment

Takeaway

Anger is a normal response to loss; there is no shame in how you feel! Remember that we all mess up sometimes, and try to be gentle with yourself. Instead of suppressing emotions or judging yourself, spend your energy cultivating helpful expressions of anger. Responding to tricky emotions is a skill you can learn with the help of a grief coach. Connect with me today for your free introduction call!