Advice For New Grievers

What I wish I’d known in my early days of grief

I've come to have a deep respect, almost fondness, for grief. After all, you don't become a grief therapist by avoiding grief. However, my relationship with grief had some tough days in the beginning. I felt so anxious and wanted to escape from the nightmare I was living. I had to learn to accept help from others and be okay with life looking different.

Whether you are new to the grief club or have been a member for a while, you don't have to go through it alone. Contact me for a free introductory call to navigate your grief together.

Advice for new grievers: Embrace Your Boring Side

Grief makes people feel anxious.

I knew I'd feel sad when I was grieving, but I was surprised by how anxious I became. The world felt dangerous, and I couldn't bring myself to try new things. I, who used to love adventure, suddenly felt afraid (yes, really afraid) to drive on the highway, explore new neighborhoods, or meet new people.

It's okay to be boring.

As I grieved, my life felt small. Sometimes, I was worried I was missing out, but being "boring" was exactly what I needed. As I started to heal, my fears lessened, my energy returned, and I felt ready to experience more of life. You will, too!

Advice for new grievers: You Can't Outrun Grief

It’s normal to want to run away.

In the early days of grief, I had a fantasy of escaping to a place where nobody knew me. I wanted to hide from everyone until I felt better. I didn't want people to see me sad; I hoped I could overcome grief on my own. However, I soon realized that there was no escaping from grief.

No one gets through grief alone.

I felt bad about being a downer and worried that people would get annoyed with me and my grief. After unsuccessfully avoiding my grief, I finally realized that I needed support. The people who loved me understood that I was grieving and didn't expect me to be okay.

Hope for new grievers: It Gets Better

If you're new to dealing with grief, know that it will get better. There is no timeline for healing, but I promise that the sun will shine in your life again. One day, you will find yourself smiling, going through the whole day without crying or thinking of something else when you first wake up. You will change your hair, move, or visit the beach without them. And you will be okay. And being okay is okay! And if all that sounds scary right now, that's okay, too.