Invite Your Grief To Thanksgiving This Year

Grief is a spiritual and emotional wound that makes us more sensitive due to the deep hurt caused by losing a loved one. Sharing our grief can feel risky—it may seem precious, almost like exposing our innermost selves, or we may feel pressure from others who tell us to "be strong." To protect ourselves from this vulnerability, we often create defenses. We might say, "I'm fine," or put on a fake smile. We laugh along and attend social events, trying to keep busy or immersing ourselves in work. We numb our grief in various ways. However, this behavior can be exhausting and unproductive. Avoiding our grief means that this significant loss cannot fully integrate into our new normal.

What if we allowed ourselves to be vulnerable this year and embraced grief instead? What if we stopped pretending that we aren't hurting inside? What if we decided to be brave and welcomed our grief at Thanksgiving? Keep reading for my top tips on inviting your grief to Thanksgiving!

Let your feelings guide you!

Our feelings provide valuable information; they have something important to communicate. If you are experiencing heavy grief this year, it's a signal that you should pay attention to it, as your grief needs care and understanding. Strong emotions often hold important meaning for us. By acknowledging and exploring these feelings, you invest in getting to know yourself better.

Inviting your grief to Thanksgiving this year means recognizing and acknowledging your strong emotions. My favorite way to do this is by writing them down. There's something powerful about expressing my feelings in writing. By putting my emotions on paper, I validate them; I don't have to wait for someone else to recognize my grief because I've already done so myself. Writing also helps me organize my thoughts and release some grief pressure. I find that I'm much better at accepting my grief when I take the time to care for my feelings through writing.

Not sure what to write or how to get started? Try my favorite grief journal prompt: What is the hardest part of my grief today?

Another idea: Write five descriptive words to express how your grief feels today.

Tell someone the truth!

Share your feelings with a trusted and understanding friend. Being open with others can help us relax and let our guard down. Pay attention to how you feel after sharing with someone you trust.

This year, when someone asks, "How are you doing?" respond authentically! Avoid the usual, inauthentic exchanges that leave us feeling unseen. Instead of automatically saying, "I'm good. How are you?" take a moment to reflect before you reply. Slow down and connect with your feelings, especially your grief, and share from a place of honesty.

You might be concerned about coming off as negative. However, giving a genuine response to someone who cares about you is not negative at all! Grief is challenging, and some days can feel really dark. Acknowledging this reality doesn't mean you're being negative; it's simply part of the grieving process. Allowing your grief to be present this year means being truthful about the difficult aspects of your experience. After all, they did ask!

Takeaway:

As Thanksgiving approaches, remember that embracing your grief doesn't diminish the joy of the season; it enriches it. By allowing your emotions a space at the table, you honor your loved one and recognize the depth of your connection with them. 

This year, let gratitude and grief coexist, creating a more authentic experience of your grief. Doing so transforms your grief into a living tribute, fostering healing amidst the heartache.

So, as you gather with family and friends, take a moment to reflect on your journey. Recognize that it's okay to feel vulnerable and that your feelings are valid. This Thanksgiving, let your heart be open—not only to your grief but also to the possibility of healing. Embrace the opportunity to work through your emotions in a supportive environment with personalized grief support. Your journey toward acceptance and peace begins with that first step. Don't hesitate to reach out—you're not alone in this.