The Grief Club: Discover a Supportive Resource for Answering Your Grief Questions
Grief is the worst! I remember feeling completely overwhelmed and exhausted during the early days. It was hard to imagine how long it would last. I really needed support and guidance from someone who understood grief. Now that I've moved past those intense early days, I've gained a lot of insight into grief that I want to share with you.
Check out this blog to discover how I coped with fatigue and managed my expectations for grieving. I've also provided some insightful reflection questions to help you better understand your grief. These questions and journal prompts are from The Grief Club, a FREE online membership where you can access authentic grief support through my monthly videos. The Grief Club is a safe space where you can find answers to your grief-related questions. Join us today; let's navigate through grief together!
Why am I so tired all the time?
In the early days of grieving, I was so tired. Simple tasks, like grocery shopping, suddenly took all my energy. Some days, it was all I could do to get through work. I remember getting home after a regular workday and having no energy for anything else. Being so exhausted concerned me. I often wondered, "Am I going to be this way forever?" Not only did grief zap my energy, but it also frustrated me. I felt like grief was taking over my life!
After struggling with grief and only making things worse for myself, I reached a point of accepting that I was not operating at full capacity. It was helpful for me to think about grief as similar to having a cold. I needed to do less to feel better. I had to assess my life and commitments honestly and ask myself what I could remove from my plate. I started saying no to social activities after work and shifted to spending time with friends on the weekend. It made me feel better knowing that I just had to hold it together from 9-5.
I realized that while I needed to reduce my workload, I also needed to prioritize making time to grieve. This involved having a weekly phone call with a close friend, attending grief therapy, and setting aside time for myself to process my emotions. Taking gentle walks was essential when I felt overwhelmed, as it helped me feel better and take a break from my thoughts.
Journal Prompt:
How have you noticed your energy shift since your loved one died? What can you remove from your schedule or add to your day to support your change in energy?
How long does grief last?
The simple answer: a lifetime! There will never be a day when I wake up and say, "I'm glad my parents and sister died; I don't want any more time with them." We always want more! I knew early on that losing my parents and sister was going to stay with me forever. But I also felt pressure to "hurry up and get over it!" Not that anyone said those words to me, but I felt like society would only tolerate my grief for about a year at the most.
I didn't anticipate that year two would be way more complicated than year one. Year one flew by, and I spent most of that year helping clear things out, close accounts, plan funerals, and settle estates. I didn't have the energy to grieve the way I needed to. I was so busy doing everything else we have to do after a loved one dies.
The anxiety I felt about "grieving too long" became overwhelming. I realized I couldn't keep judging myself. When I stopped to ask myself where this "hurry up and get over it" message was actually coming from, I found that it mostly came from within. I was so worried that people would judge me for taking too long, but underneath that worry, I was scared I'd never be okay again. I had to accept that what I'd experienced was life-altering and something I would carry forever. I started using affirmations to change my outlook on grief from something disgusting and intolerable in my life to something necessary and integrated.
Journal Prompt:
We receive many messages telling us to "hurry up” and “get over it!" However, grief cannot be rushed; it lasts a lifetime. Write down this affirmation or create your own, and place it somewhere you will see it daily: My grief is important; I can take all the time I need."
Takeaway
If you relate to my story, consider joining The Grief Club! It's a FREE online membership where I answer your grief questions each month, such as "What is a grief identity crisis?" and "How am I going to do this?" Sign up today and submit your grief question to be featured in a future month! Even though grief is the worst, I'm genuinely excited for you to join us.
